The End of the Trail
by Willow Myst
Summary: Sirius thinks about his life and Remus one dark night in London. Post-GoF, RS slash


_AN: This is the first Harry Potter fic I've ever written! But I'm not new to fanfic writing (or slash, for that matter), I go way back (ahhh, I remember my first Spot/Jack story, I wonder what happened to it). _

_Disclaimer: Based on Bruce Springsteen's _The River_, a wonderful song. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black belong to J.K. Rowling, savvy?_

_Warning: Slash — Remus/Sirius! If that bothers you, turn back now. Slight OoTP spoilers, as well, but set after GoF._

_Enjoy..._

End of the Trail

Deep in the dark maze of streets in the heart of London, a ragged man sat atop an old black motorbike. His head was bowed, his shoulders hunched, his back curved, as if he couldn't support his own weight. His tattered black robes rustled slightly, disturbing the late night quiet of the city. The man's long black hair, dirty and uneven, hung limply from his scalp and the flickering streetlight cast harsh shadows upon his wasted, once-handsome face. He was impossibly thin, his pale eyes no longer flickered and he looked brittle and old, but there was strength in his grip, knuckle-white as held onto the handlebars as if to anchor himself in this world. The man's name was Sirius Black.

**I come from a pure-blood family where mister when you're young,   
They bring you up to do like your daddy done.   
Me and Remus we met at Hogwarts when he was just a pre-teen.   
We'd fly out of that castle down to where the fields were green. **

Life at Hogwarts was always so much better than life at Grimmauld Place (it couldn't be called home). The Blacks were so concerned with history and heritage, and there was this disturbing tradition of beheading house-elves, that Sirius felt lucky that he simply survived. But at Hogwarts, life was bloody wonderful; Sirius had three great friends, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and, of course, Remus Lupin. James was his best friend, his brother really, but there was something special about Remus. It took him a long time to figure it out but amid countless pranks and detentions, miracles and tragedies, their relationship developed into something much more than friendship. They were the last to realize it, certainly, but by their sixth year they'd sneak out of the Tower and make love under the stars. 

**We'd go down to the river,  
And into the river we'd dive.   
Oh, down to the river we'd ride.**

James would tease them and Lily would scold them, and they were in Paradise. They were on top of the world and hopelessly in love. There was nothing better than skinny-dipping under the light of the first quarter moon, when Remus was soft and supple, and, oh, so delicious. But all good things must end and, despite all their dread, so did sixth year. Away they went and Sirius felt his happiness vanish

**Then I left my noble family and, man, that was all it took.   
And for my seventeenth birthday I got a motorbike and good cookbook.   
We went down to my new place and we got very little rest.   
No pure-blood obsession, no embarrassing questions,   
No nightmares, no mournful tears.**

When it all became too much he left, and with money from his uncle he got his own home. Remus joined him and there was hope and love once again. They were high on freedom and addicted to life. There was no time like the present and every moment was put to good use. When his beloved Moony arrived, Sirius felt invincible.

**That night we went down to the river,   
And into the river we'd dive.   
Oh down to the river we did ride. **

Sirius and Remus would fly out into the night on that motorbike. Sirius would wear his black leather jacket and Remus would wrap his arms around his lover's waist. They would laugh and talk and love like there was no tomorrow. Foolish, young, about to enter a desperate world of darkness, hate, pain and betrayal.

** I got a job fighting Death Eaters for the Order of the Phoenix,   
But lately there been too much work on account of Lord Voldemort.   
Now all them things that seemed so important,   
Well, mister, they vanished right into the air.   
Now, I just act like I don't remember. Remus acts like he don't care. **

How quickly perfection can disappear, how easily mistakes are made. In their hopes to protect, in their fear of the unknown, in their growing doubt of all that is good, they were broken, split. There were too many foes, too few allies. The enemy knew too much, they knew too little. Love, laughter and happiness crumbled into the dark. Sirius never got to experience the brief relapse the others had and now the dark power was rising again, before there was a chance to renew past feelings.

**But I remember us riding on my motorbike,   
His body tan and wet down at the reservoir.   
At night on them banks I'd lie awake   
And pull him close just to feel each breath he'd take.**

Sirius loved to hold Remus, often he didn't want anything else than to feel Remus in his arms. The werewolf's body was so slim, so toned, so exquisitely perfect; it fit just right with Sirius' own. They would snuggle together, find comfort in the mere presence of the other. How easy it was to recall, now that all seemed lost.

**Now those memories come back to haunt me, they haunt me like a curse.   
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true?   
Or is it something worse that sends me   
Down to the river though I know the river is dry,   
That sends me down to the river tonight? **

With a roar, Sirius started the engine and flew up into the sky. Away from London, down to their old hideout near Hogwarts, he rode. He left now and the future, returning to the long-forgotten past. They had such aspirations, dreams they'd share under the black night above. Sirius sat down next to the bike, on the damp grass, and stared at the barren land. What had happened to the beauty, the sparkling water, the lush flowers? Time had worn it, like everything else, away.

**Down to the river, my baby and I,   
Oh down to the river we ride. **

In the dark he brooded, darkness, darkness: dark night, dark thoughts, dark man. Unshed tears glistened in his eyes and somewhere a wolf howled at the moon.


End file.
